Sue to Mark 26, pt. 1
You must be running on sheer adrenalin. You must have left Dallas around 6:00 a.m. I predict you will crash and burn tonight. You have my permission to rest tonight instead of expending any more energy on me.
You are exactly the genteel, quality, sensitive man I thought you would be. Here are the moments from our first evening together that I will cherish: sitting together in that open air water garden with a glass of wine, taking your hand in a moment of vulnerability, losing our way in the parking lot after the symphony, and the sweetness of your final embrace (all that I thought it would be!). The lounge in the Fairmont was fun, too. I was awfully tired last night. I hope it didn't translate as indifference. I've been cheating my body of rest over the last weeks and it's finally turning on me! I'm only feeling a little more rested today because we skipped church. I have so very much schoolwork to do . . . I've got to make up a Social Studies final and grade mountains of papers before tomorrow. So my afternoon has been predetermined for me.
Here's what I'm thinking about the days and weeks ahead: I think we should put plans for getting the kids together on the back burner and concentrate on finding ways to explore our own dynamics more thoroughly. We are now entering a new phase and it will be different. We know a lot about each other. Much is left to discover. Some of the most important things can only be known by being together. I think both of us can say honestly that our e-mail perception of each other was "corrected" by reality last night. And that's a good thing. We have a large impediment in the distance and the complications of "arrangements" and e-mail will continue to be most convenient - but the longer we rely mostly on it, the longer it will take to accurately assess the ultimate nature of this THING of ours. I do think it will be important for us to be with the other and respective children without our own kids at some point. That would give the kids a little time to digest things a bit at a time.