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Heartwork

Sue to Mark 12, part 4

Noonday Light

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Sue to Mark 12, part 4

          Now this is going to sound like a retraction of what I just said about talking too much. But at home and in the car I'm extraordinarily quiet. That could be because the girls are so verbal. But I think it is mostly because my inner life, my thought life, is so complex. My mind is always moving at warp speed. Like Hamlet, I could live my life "bounded in a nutshell" (cranium). I occupy an inner universe. You'll never see me walking my dog with a headset, or doing the dishes with the TV on. I have too much to say to myself, to wonder at, and to work out. I will share with you another time why I think this came to be, but I can say this much: It has enabled me to cope much better, I think, with my widowhood.

          I am not a detail person. Detail makes me crazy. I'm a big picture person. I hate knick-knacks. Junk makes me hyperventilate. My decorating style is somewhat spare. The things I do have are beautiful, though. I am allergic to couponing. Barry told me Glenda was almost an obsessive couponer. I don't even want to TOUCH a coupon. I tried for a while; I'd cut them all out and organize them and then they'd expire before I could use them - or I'd forget to bring them to the store - or I'd lose them -- or they didn't have coupons for the stuff I really needed. I'm just not designed for coupons.

         Being introspective and genetically impervious to details often makes me appear ditzy. I'm sure many people think that of me. I forget stuff all the time. Could be early Alzheimer's, too!

         My judgment in social situations is really stupid sometimes. I did something in England last summer that I'll tell you about sometime . . . I'm still mystified by it. I say things without thinking. Parents and administrators at my school are unhappy with me because I told their sixth graders that writing was like dropping your pants, you're exposing all you've got (or haven't got) for the world to see. This analogy perked my college students right up. But it is admittedly inappropriate for 6th graders. Another time I told my precious darlings from Christian families that if they acted like hell, they'd get treated like hell. Which is true, of course. And they'll remember it. But if I don't watch it, I could lose my job.

         Well, there is more. But I'm going to rest now. This is very draining. I look forward to your response . . . with some trepidation.

                                                    Sue

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