Heartwork

Sue to Mark 12, part 2

            Latest update on Dad:  They took the ventilator out yesterday afternoon and he is a New Man.  I’ve heard people who’ve had the ventilator experience say that they’d just rather go ahead and die than do that again.  He has a little fluid behind the heart, which is the root cause of an infection they’re treating with antibiotics.  The food tube’s out and he’ll start ingesting fluids today, so I think the news is guardedly good, although he has a worrisome bedsore on his backside.  But he’s getting lots of PT and turning.  They’re even talking about moving him out of ICU mid-week or so.  Praise God and Praise God.

            I’m so glad you shared your thoughts/feelings about Glenda and the past with me.  I don’t think “parting with the past” is good or healthy.  Your past, your love for Glenda is inextricably a part of you.  You will always love her, and you should.  You’ll always love your parents when they’re gone.  I will always love Roger.  I don’t plan on “parting” with that emotionally, although the character of that love will necessarily change.  The problem is our “programming.”  We can’t shake the idea that we’re being untrue to them if we love someone else.  That’s deeply ingrained in our concept of marriage.  This is one of those dynamic tension things, where we’re pulled back and forth between opposites --  a very complex, challenging and unusual position to occupy.  (Your sentence “I’m afraid God will answer that question for me by ushering in a joy heretofore unknown to me and possibly diminish, in my eyes, the richness of the past” is beautifully written, by the way.  Reading good writing after weeks of 6th grade essays on Texas Indian Tribes is a genuine relief for me.)  This is a place of mystery, uncertainty and complexity, but to me, complexity is a sign that God’s involved, somehow.  He is awesomely, unthinkably complex, and so is His creation.  If you don’t want to miss out on the joy of God’s plan, and you don’t want to “tarnish” the past, just pray that He will show you how to do that.  I don’t pretend to have answers here – because I’m trying to do the same thing.  But I know there IS an answer, even if I’m incapable of understanding it at this place and time.

            By the way, this is completely off the subject, but what church do you go to?  I’m assuming you and the Hays go to the same church.  I was curious about the denomination.  I’m guessing it’s a Bible church of some kind.  I also wanted to know how old you are.  If your younger sister was a freshman at Baylor in 1974, (the year I was a sophomore), you’re  somewhat older than I am (42).  And when is your birthday?  I know this next one should have been my first question – but what is your SIGN????!  (Isn’t it ironic and fun that we hit the spiritual/philosophical issues first?   I feel so good about how our friendship has been developed and nurtured on the  important foundational stuff of life . . . (she’s putting it off, you’re thinking!!!)

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