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Sue to Mark 11 pt 2

May 1

Hi Mark:

           I can't seem to shake this fatigue. I'm afraid the fatigue has opened me up to a little discouragement tonight. It usually takes a lot to discourage me . . . but I've had a lot to cope with lately. School has been extremely hectic since I got back and I'm still not caught up with grading and lesson plans. This being my first year to teach 6th grade, I'm still making up everything as I go, and with all the endless distractions and details of a jillion projects, programs, fields days, staff meetings, special performances, class trips, I seem to have absolutely no energy or time to actually teach. So, I'm feeling a little professionally despondent. School is out May 22 and I'm afraid it's not going to come soon enough.

           In an earlier note, you mentioned trips you have planned with your kids. My kids have gone to Pine Cove, too, in years past and I think I was vaguely aware of a family program. I hope it proves to be a real bonding time. (Bonding is on my mind tonight, too!) With all my energy and attention focused on other things, I'm on an endless guilt trip about not being more available to my girls. But there is something magic about kids . . . (it's probably angels!) I almost NEVER spend time with them and they almost NEVER complain about how busy and preoccupied I am. I just kissed Ellee (the baby) goodnight and I tried to apologize for not being a better mommy and she said, "You're the best mommy there is and I love you tons." I'm going to have to "put that one in the bank" because I know that gets more rare as they get older.

            I was glad to learn about your basketball expertise. I get out on the court with my sixth graders occasionally and I'm reminded how fun it is. That basketball methods class I took in college was an education class for P.E. majors, and like most education classes I took, it felt like a waste of time. Erin, my middle one, really loves basketball and is continually bugging me about putting up a hoop, but our driveway is too slanted.

          I've been meaning to ask you how your mom is doing now. (It IS phenomenal, isn't it, how many similarities there are in our lives!) Is she in remission? And if not, what is her prognosis? Do your parents live nearby? I would love to hear more about your family, too.

           Sorry I've skipped around so much tonight . . . I've gone back over your letters and noted little items I wanted to respond to. I'll save the others for another time - because I do want to explain myself before I basically lose consciousness! I know all that stuff about the Grecian Urn and sterility was probably pretty obscure and confusing. Can you forgive my ostentation? I should have come out and said what I meant (although I'm frankly having fun pretending to be enticing and mysterious!) . . . .

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