Heartwork

Mark to Sue 10

April 30

Dear Sue:

        It's good to hear good news about your dad. I'm sounding like a broken record when I say I know your feelings - but once again, I do. Three years ago my mother was hospitalized after suffering a stroke/heart attack. Dad frantically phoned me with that news bout 5 a.m. from a hospital emergency room. I know the sensation of rushing into an ICU room to see a parent wired and tubed to all manner of monitors and assist machines (the amber stuff is betadine, an antibiotic). Mom was in a deep coma with a poor prognosis for recovery. If she would recover, brain damage was likely. With God's' quiet and unseen help, she came back six days later, spent four more weeks in the hospital, three months in therapy, then home. If you saw her now you wouldn't know that she has some short-term memory loss. Then three months later Glenda died. For me, that was the year from hell. I was beaten, stomped and kicked. Now I guess I'm the fire-hardened steel of woe. I was glad to share in your experience with your father. Thank you for letting me in. You, too, are becoming the fire-hardened steel of woe. I think that makes us more beautiful in Christ's eyes and more useful in God's hands.

 

        Well now you know . . . I am an Aggie. The truth is out and I feel better about it. I'm one of the few non-rabid "Farmers" out there. I gave away my maroon slacks and white shoes years ago! You mentioned not doing well in a class called "basketball methods". Although I don't understand the term, I have played a lot of basketball and someday I'll give you some pointers if you'd like.

 

        I'm sorry the picture in American Artist was poor. I didn't plan it that way - but remember, I'm living with some mystery too. "Ode on a Grecian Urn"(?) . . . I just (re)read that to be sure I understood your analogy - and I guess you're right. I don't know if what we're creating is a work of art, or a rarified experience in time, but it has provided me some undeniable joy, and I hope it hasn't been one-sided. These times of "computer chat' have been the nicest indulgence I've permitted myself in a long time. Will this become sterile? I'm not sure what that would be like, but I do know that fantasies can be good only in the sense that they promote what's positive or healthy. Unfortunately they can fall flat and leave us empty. I try to keep in mind that YOU (a real person with personality, emotion and intelligence, etc.) are on the receiving end - a real person, not a computer, is responding to ME. Until a meeting is appropriate, I hope we can continue to enjoy each other's company via e-mail.

 

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