Mark to Sue 3April 2
I didn't give up, I just thought I might have sent my letter to the wrong e-mail address - imagine the confusion! Your first paragraph sounded like the usual disaster of my life. I find it difficult to plan tomorrow (forget a week) because of daily minor, inevitable dislocations . Its just another of those areas of "aloneness" that I live in. I find myself wanting to share the struggles of getting through a particular morning, but I'm aware that nobody would believe it even if they had the patients to listen. I don't know how it is with you, but I think the struggle is mainly with the emotional swing - not the practical "get it done" steps. One moment things look like they are working, then a crisis, then things re-balance a bit, then everything tumbles down. At the end of the day, I have no sense of accomplishment. As we both know, two-parent families have shared responsibilities (shared joys and shared sorrows, too), and toward the end of each day, there ought to be a chance for rest. But my day doesn't end - I just go to bed, wake up, and do it again.
While I was writing this, my precious 6-year old daughter broke a hinge on an antique fold-top desk. There you are. Something else to put on my to-do list.
I don't know if I understand "feeling alone and feeling filled up all at once". But I do have an incredable sense that Christ, as a true symbol of aloneness, completely understands and moves next to me spiritually, as though to "wink" with that shared glance of quiet knowing. Like you, I believe God can use our circumstances for His purpose - I'm counting on it!